


Untouchable

by FiveStillAlive



Series: Touch [1]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Miscommunication, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-15 21:18:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18081074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiveStillAlive/pseuds/FiveStillAlive
Summary: When Loki was twelve, hands suddenly began to jerk away from him.Handshakes were snapped back. Anyone who brushed against his skin flinched. A baby cried when he held it. Even animals reacted.There was something wrong with his touch, and Loki didn’t know what.





	1. Loki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this on Twitter and it went over a lot better than I expected :D. So, now it’s on here!
> 
> ***The sequel will NOT be gen, it will be explicit, so... if you’d rather not get invested, get out now!***

When Loki was twelve, hands suddenly began to jerk away from him.

Handshakes were snapped back. Anyone who brushed against his skin flinched. A baby cried when he held it. Even animals reacted.

There was something wrong with his touch, and Loki didn’t know what.

No one said anything. Most people would act as if nothing had happened. They would flinch away, then smile politely while they flexed their hands. People learned to stop touching him.

Soon, the rough, grabby children they played with wanted little to do with him.

Members of court would avoid shaking his hand.

Mother, who had always fussed over him, refrained from all but the briefest touches.

Loki began covering as much of himself as he could. He didn’t want to see people flinching away from him.

First long sleeves. Then high collars. Then he even found ways to cover much of his hands.

It stopped being a problem, soon enough. Loki learning not to offer his hand in greeting. He was too old for such childish play, anyway. Too old for such maternal fussing. It was easy enough not to touch anyone, and no one touched him.

No one ever touched him.

The only exception was Thor.

Thor would put his hand on Loki’s neck, would curl his fingers around the back of his collar, would seek out a little stripe of uncovered skin, and he would leave it there for seconds and seconds at a time.

It wrecked Loki. Destroyed him. For a decade it was the only skin contact he had.

A century.

Two centuries.

Six.

Ten.

He knew Thor felt whatever wrongness he had that made others pull away! But still, he deliberately slid past Loki’s defenses and sought his skin, touched him, and it was the most devastating weapon Thor had against him.

It didn’t matter if they were fighting, if they were furious. Thor still did it, as if to remind Loki, to claim him.

And Loki still wanted to beg him not to stop, not to pull away from him again, as if he could stop the inevitable.

He never understood, until his arm turned blue in a Jotun’s grip. Until the blue spread over his skin as he held their casket.

He had seen the damage done to Volstagg’s arm by a single Jotun’s touch.

And, as the panic closed over him, the terror, the thousand sinking realizations, one thought rose briefly to the surface.

Of course.

Of course no one would touch him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	2. Thor

When Loki was twelve, he had suddenly decided he didn’t want to be touched.

Thor didn’t know why. Loki didn’t discuss it. He never told anyone not to touch him. But whatever magic he had put on himself gave his skin a sharp, icy bite.

He seemed to hold the magic over himself constantly, distinguishing no touch as acceptable. When members of court shook his hand, unsuspecting, they would jerk it back, and Loki would just... stare at them.

It was a bit creepy, actually.

But Loki had always been strange. Magic users usually were. So Thor just accepted his brother’s icy boundary, and grimaced as he watched Loki slowly, passively punish anyone who touched him, until all learned not to. Their friends. Their mother. Even a baby someone passed to him!

It stopped being a problem, soon enough. Everyone learned not to touch Loki, and Loki began covering himself from neck to knuckles, and it was just another strange magic user’s strange quirk.

But Thor couldn’t resist.

He’d tried to tell himself he was protective of Loki, normal brotherly affection. But he knew inside there were better words.

Possessive.

Jealous, of anyone who might seek to share him.

He would allow no one to take Loki from him, even Loki himself.

So he touched.

Never much, never for long. He could see how Loki reacted when he did, how still he went, how his pupils dilated. Loki never dropped his icy bite.

But he never moved away. He let Thor touch. He hated to be touched, but he allowed Thor that small, vital intimacy.

He could have touched Loki for hours, days, years. The bite of his skin really wasn’t so bad, after the initial shock! It was far outweighed by the thrill of being allowed to touch Loki, when he allowed no one else. Of being permitted. Of Loki finding him worthy of such intimacy.

But... even Thor’s possessive soul knew that Loki didn’t allow so much as tolerate.

So he restrained himself from trespassing too often, stopped himself from touching too long. It was an honor that Loki allowed him at all, and he should not abuse such trust.

He never understood, until after he had seen Loki let go of his hold, and drop from the shattered bifrost.

After he had slumped on the wrecked bridge, numb with grief, and heard his father’s words. Jotun. Taken. A failed attempt.

His mother’s words. Jotun. Loved. Gone.

And, as the grief closed over him, the loss, the thousand burning memories, one thought rose all too clearly to the surface.

Loki had never meant to freeze his skin.

He had been unwillingly touch-starved.

So of course.

Of course he had never stopped Thor from touching him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to this going up tomorrow-ish!
> 
> —-
> 
> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


End file.
